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About things she did that would affect me she'd resort to gaslighting and make it seem that it was my fault for feeling that way.I'm on the other side of this and it's been eating at me for nearly. When I was 12 years old I (F) got into my first relationship (M). We were the same age. I know it's no excuse, but I'm autistic, and I didn't know how to process my emotions yet. Embarrassment manifested as anger physical abuse and I still hate myself for it. I've already apologized, years down the line when I realized exactly what I had done. He told me he hadn't seen what I had done as abusing, but I still have this horrible guilt for it. I remember one instance.

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